No Longer a Broken Vessel

Summer rest=reflection.

I am so thankful, emotional, and even a wee bit giddy. Here is why.

I always saw myself as the girl with many problems. When I was a teenager I just went a bit (okay, mom and dad, more than a bit..) crazy. 

I knew Jesus since I was 3 but when I was around 15, almost literally overnight (my great friend Shannon can testify to this), I decided to follow Jesus again. I got baptized, decided to go to Siberia, Mexico, and then Ireland to build Gods kingdom. 

But that overnight change didn’t heal the brokenness that was inside of me. Jesus set me completely free from all my sins and failures the moment I asked Him to, but some of the consequences where still there. Many of you who knew me know that I struggled a lot with the way I saw myself, the way I felt an almost-constant feeling of rejection from people, with my eating habits, and with deep seeded rebellion and anger.

This morning when I was having my date with God, and reading a book “Becoming myself” by Stasi Eldridge (thanks Sophia for recommending it!) I started to remember those broken areas of my life, and I was very shocked and excited that… in some crazy way, most of those areas aren’t broken any more!

My first year as a full time missionary was described as “the worst year I’ve ever seen someone have” by my incredible boss and friend Mark Riley.

 I struggled so much with rejection, which played out by the way I THOUGHT my boyfriend saw me. 

I struggled with anxiety, panic attacks sending me to the hospital. 

I struggled with my weight, living in an extreme world of eating raw vegan for breakfast and cake for dinner. (Not too bad, per say ;)

 I was so confused in the paradox of being completely set free in my Jesus and dealing with all the brokenness inside I was somehow still carrying.

 Sound familiar?

Back to this morning on my date with God, He showed me this picture of Himself as a gardener, doing an “extreme-clean” and pruning in my life over the last two years. The garden represented my life, and He was the gardener who was trying to turn the garden into the most fruitful and beautiful place it could be. I saw Him running around the garden, planting seeds, cutting off branches, pruning the areas that weren’t helpful or growing, and feeding the areas that He knew would grow. This picture made me laugh, because I love that God took what I thought would always plague me and removed it.

Do I still have broken areas? I bet I do, but the core ones that have been afflicting me for the last 20 years of my life ARE. ALL. BROKEN.  How cool is Jesus?!

I no longer think that if someone doesn’t reply to my text they don’t love me. (Yeah I was a wee bit crazy, hehe, sorry Ricky ;) 

I no longer obsess about my body and making it perfect, trying to win peoples affections.

 I no longer believe that the thinner you are the more value you have. 

I no longer have hurt feelings towards my family.

 I no longer search for my happiness and value in my man, but in Jesus, which leaves me to be CAPABLE of accepting the happiness and worth that my wonderful man gives to me. 

I no longer CARE about so many things that plagued my mind for YEARS.

My point?  GOD. IS. GOOD. He totally has a plan!

Full healing and restoration is available, my life is proof of that! Yes of course God will continue for my entire life to change to be more like Him, but how much does my heart rejoice that He has pulled out the “main weeds in the garden of my life?”

Why am I sharing this with the world to see?

Because I have a very important thought to share with you, which I KNOW is straight from Gods heart.

Psalm 119:45

I WILL walk about in freedom, for I have sought out your precepts.

That thing that you’ve been struggling with for months or maybe even years, Jesus Christ is capable and willing to bring you complete, beautiful and everlasting freedom in. Freedom isn’t just for Heaven, but is possible here on earth too!

I claim in Jesus name that whatever we bring to the cross, repent of and DECLARE/KEEP DECLARING our freedom in, we have it in Jesus name. The time has come for Gods promises to us to be fulfilled.

That anger you feel for somebody (maybe even your abuser) that hurt you in your childhood? God can take it. Forgiveness. 
That person you’ve been praying for to know Jesus for years WILL come to Him! Claim it!
 Those anxious thoughts that race through your head? They can be completely removed.
 Depression? Doesn’t stand a CHANGE against the joy of Jesus! 
The fear that your significant other will leave or cheat on you? Gone. 
Feeling grumpy and annoyed easily? Ka-Pow! 
That sickness you’ve had for years? God is healer.

How?  The power of Jesus.

Maybe you are in that “extreme clean” stage of life, where you know Jesus but are completely aware of the paradox of brokenness that you are still trying to deal with. Guess what? That will end. God is good! Have Hope. He will finish that work.

 I proclaim that those areas in our lives that seem unending and all consuming are DONE NOW in the name of Jesus. It is finished. 

I believe that you are capable of walking in freedom.

Or maybe you don’t even know Jesus yet and don’t know that there are areas he wants to bring healing and freedom in your life. Guess what? Jesus is the best. He is SO INCREDIBLE and a very loving and patient God. He cares too much about you to let you suffer with unforgivness, anger or anything else. Restoration is up for grabs. Do you want it?

I’d encourage you to pray about this! See what He has to say. After all, this is His blog post, not mine. ;)

 Also ask Him what areas He has already brought healing to. Maybe you don’t realize how much God has done! A thankful heart is such a powerful tool! Thank Him for where He has already brought you. God is working in every persons life, whether they know Him or not.

Our job is to bring restoration to others. If Jesus is living inside of us, how can we not? Id love for you to pray about one person who you think God would want to share this with. Ask Him, and share this with the first person who pops in your head! Walk with them through whatever season they are in. Your story, what you have been through, is so powerful! No matter what part you are at. Use this as a tool to start a relationship of growing together and reaching for that area of complete freedom!

My heart is so joyful with this freedom! Thank you to all the people who have journeyed my “extreme-clean” with me. Thanks parents, for your love and support through everything. I couldn’t ask for better parents, you are incredible. Thanks Richard, for loving and supporting me through the darkest time of my life. Thank you Mark, for having those tough conversations with me that brought so much life! 

Prayers work. Praise God. Have hope. Have joy. Have freedom.

Id love to hear what other people journeyed with freedom, about your own seasons of “extreme cleans”, so please let me know where you are at! Id love to pray with anybody or celebrate with those who walked through dark seasons.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read and pass on!

Bless you!

Love,

Viktoriyous.

Isaish 61

The spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor. He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted and to proclaim that captives will be released and prisoners will be freed. He has sent me to tell those who mourn that the time of the Lord’s favor has come, and with it, the day of Gods anger against their enemies. To ALL who mourn in Israel He will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair. In their righteousness, they will be like oaks that the Lord has planted for His own glory. They will rebuild ancient ruins, repairing cities long ago destroyed. He will revive them, though they have been deserted for many generations. Instead of shame and dishonor, you will enjoy a double share of honor. You will possess a double portion of prosperity in your land, and everlasting joy will be yours.

Romans 6:22

Now that you have been set free from sin and became slaves of God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life.