The last 3 weeks I have spent a lot of my time watching "Make it or Break it", a show about gymnasts aspiring for the Olympics.
I was captivated right away when I saw how much sacrifice it took to train as an athlete at an elite level. The girls in the show, when faced with yet another disappointment or sacrifice they had to make for their dream, remind each other.. "Just wait till we go to the Olympics. Gold metals. Everything we've ever dreamed for. Everything is worth it."
I really admire such dedication and bravery. But it also broke my heart that with every achieved dream, even winning a national championship, only left them more empty inside after the initial thrill rush went away. The national champion in the show said that she wanted to win because she thought it would make her stronger, happier, keep her parents from splitting up, and fill her up but in actuality, put more pressure on her and turned some of her friends into her competition.
Achieving the goal they thought would bring contentment brought disappointment.
I know it's just a TV show, but it struck a well deep within me, about the pattern that my life so often follows. There seems to be this battle in my mind between desire and contentment. In my mind, I think about all the "if only" things that I can do which will satisfy me.I would say I'm a pretty genuinely satisfied and happy person, so it's not like I'm always wanting what I don't have. I would say I'm very thankful about what Jesus has done for me, my relationship with him, my friends, my wonderful boyfriend and my fulfilling position on Pais. My life is wonderful! Yet on the other Hand I'm a very passionate person, having many desires, hopes, dreams and expectations, on myself and others.
How do those two things fit together? How can you be passionate and desire things, but actually be satisfied by them?
I found this pattern in my life, in 'Make it or Break it' and now looking around, in many other places.Pattern:
I desire. I long to achieve. I do what i can to achieve my dream. But many times, after I achieve it, it fails to satisfy me. There is no contentment. Just an unfulfilled expectation. Disappointment. Confusion.
For example, the girl from 'Make it or Break it', who thought her whole life would be better if only she became a national gymnastics champion. Yet she found herself more pressured and lonely.
For example, me trying to be healthy. When I think I will feel so much better about myself if only I will loose a few pounds, be more self controlled, be more healthy and have less body fat. Yet it is never enough. I"ve noticed this 'if only' pattern here and in many other things. Revenge. Rest. Being in a relationship. Having more money. Loneliness. Achieving goals in work.
Our desire and the fulfillment of them is not always enough to bring us lasting satisfaction and contentment.
Have you ever been disappointed by a fulfilled desire you thought would bring you contentment?My question is this.. What is the secret to contentment? How can the thing we desire satisfy us when fulfilled?
After thinking and praying, here's my thought. Here's what I feel God saying. I'm sure every person would say something different, so feel free to disagree, I'd love to hear other opinions to this question!
In order to have contentment and satisfaction in the things our heart so much desires, we must first learn to be content without the desire.
I believe that both desire and contentment are gifts from God. (Psalm 145:16) I found that the times I surrender my God-given desires back to him, that He gives me such a deep peace and satisfaction in the midst of waiting. Trusting God with what I desire gives me contentment without it, therefore allowing me to be content and thankful if I get what I wanted.
The thing I've seen most clearly over the last few weeks is that our God is good. Let that sink in for a moment. God asks us to trust Him.God wants the best for us. When I give him my unfulfilled desire, that gives the room for Him to fulfill it. (Psalm 107:9)
God is telling me to love my body just the way it is. He says I am beautiful and created in His image. I show people a part of Him! But wanting to be fit and healthy is my desire. When I give that to him, obey him by loving myself the way I am, honoring my body as Gods temple, He gives me strength to do the things I want to be fit and healthy. Through Jesus and the Holy Spirit. I AM self controlled with my eating patterns. I am patient about my body and what I want to see it do.
God knows we wont be happier if only we have more money, so He asks us to be happy whether we have a lot or very little. When we trust God, being generous even in our time of need, (Phillipians 4) God always provides for the needs, and like a gracious and kind daddy, sometimes the things we just want.
What is the biggest desire of your heart?
I would be happier and feel better if....
If only we lived somewhere with nicer weather. If only we went to a different church. If only we had a different job. If only we were famous. If only we were married. If only we had more skills and talents. If only we had more free time. If only we could travel more. If only we could start over again.
What is your if only? Whatever it is for you, I pray for you. I'm with you. We are in this together. Ask God to meet you where you are right now. He understands. Tell him your desires.
Can you ask Him to make your heart content without your if only?
I would love to hear your story. What is your if only and how is God meeting you in the middle of it? The Lord will guide you continually and satisfy your desires in the scorched places and make your bones strong. You shall be like a watered garden like a sprout of water, who's whatever's do not fail. Thats His promise. (Isaiah 58:11)
(Also, I'd like to add that I realize there are 2 sides to everything. I think it's also very important to say that it's NOT all about me, or you. If our desires are selfish and only about us all the time, I believe God cares too much about us to give us the things to feed our selfishness. God says that we shouldn't only look to our own interests, but also the interests of others. (Phillipians 2:4). I had to check my heart to see whether my desires where only about my own interests. Guess what? Sometimes it's okay of they are, but I believe that deep down we all care for others and believe in a world where people put others above themselves. Let's be those people after Jesus heart, caring not only for our own desires, but also for the desires of others!)
Thank you for reading. Please share with anyone you think would benefit.
-Viktoriyous
